Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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