i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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