Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
