I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
