Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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