Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
