I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
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When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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My ATM looks so different sober.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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