I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
