the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
