i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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