Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
