I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
