tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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