why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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