I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
