Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
