ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
