so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
