I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize