dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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