I think scott just propositioned me for sex
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize