i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
