dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
