census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
