Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
