Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
