Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
