it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
