so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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