I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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