good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
