Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
