I have demons in me.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
