I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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