I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
