this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
