You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
