HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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