I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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