his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
