there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
