my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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