So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
