im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
