We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
