I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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