You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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