you guys were way drunker than both of me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
