I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
