don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
