I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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