Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
did i just pee glitter
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
