I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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