i wish peter jackson would direct porn
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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