smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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